“SPELLING BEE”

Romans 12:3 For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.

Setting

Three chairs facing downstage.

Characters

CONTESTANT 1 [referred to as C1 in directions]: Has large 1 pinned or hung over chest – sitting in stage right chair.

CONTESTANT 2 [referred to as C2 in directions]: Has large 2 pinned or hung over chest – sitting in middle chair.

CONTESTANT 3 [referred to as C3 in directions]: Has large 3 pinned or hung over chest – sitting in last chair.

VOICE: Off stage mike.

The Play

VOICE

We would like to welcome our current three contestants to the spelling bee. There will be twelve words given to the three of you which should be as fair as possible. We will begin with contestant number one.

[C1 stands up]

VOICE

Spell indigenous.

CONTESTANT 1

Indigenous. I N D [beat] I G E N O U S. Indigenous.

VOICE

Very good. [C2 and C3 applaud] Contestant 2...

[C2 stands up]

VOICE

Your word is grateful.

CONTESTANT 2

Grateful. G R A T E F U L. Grateful.

VOICE

Great. [C1 claps a couple times, C3 applauds] Contestant 3...

[C3 stands up]

VOICE

Your word is dog.

CONTESTANT 1

What??

VOICE

Please. This is for contestant 3.

CONTESTANT 3

Dog. D [2 beats] O G. Dog.

VOICE

Excellent. [C2 claps, C3 sits] Contestant 1...

[C1 stands up]

VOICE

Your word is indicative.

CONTESTANT 1

What? [Sarcastic] You mean its not cat?

VOICE

No, I have the word indicative here.

CONTESTANT 1 [sighs]

Indicative. I N D I C [beat] A T I V E. Indicative.

VOICE

Very good. [C2 and C3 clap, C1 sits] Contestant 2...

[C2 stands]

VOICE

Your word is weird.

CONTESTANT 2

That's okay. What is it?

VOICE

That's your word. Weird. [C1 snorts.]

CONTESTANT 2

W I wait. [beat] Weird. W E I R D. Weird.

VOICE

Great! [C3 claps, C1 shakes head, C2 sits] Contestant number 3...

[C3 stands]

VOICE

Spell cat.

CONTESTANT 1 [slaps leg and rises]

Okay. Is this some kind of a joke?

VOICE

There is no joke. I have the word cat before me for contestant 3.

CONTESTANT 1

This contest is rigged! How can you give me words like indigenous and contestant 3 words like dog and cat? That is totally unfair!

VOICE

It is completely fair. It is our intent that you all win this.

CONTESTANT 1

No it isn't! Those were some tough words you gave me. Man, you are just handing it over to number three here!

VOICE

Contestant number 3 would not make it at all with your words.

CONTESTANT 1

It's a CONTEST, duh. So give ME some easy ones.

VOICE

What's the fun in that?

CONTESTANT 1

What's the... I could have messed up!!

VOICE

So could contestant 3. Contestant 2 would probably fail with your words but he is a little smarter than contestant 3. Contestant 3 would never be able to learn the words you and contestant 2 learned.

CONTESTANT 1

So what! That's what contests are about. You know what this looks like to me? You are just giving it to them and you are expecting me to fail. That's what it looks like. [Whiney] You're not going to let me win.

VOICE

You have studied. We can see that. It is our intent that all of you should win.

CONTESTANT 1 [sitting back down]

It makes no sense to me.

CONTESTANT 3

Should I go ahead?

VOICE

Yes, please.

CONTESTANT 3

[Long pause] I forgot my word.

CONTESTANT 1

CAT for crying out loud! C A T Cat!

CONTESTANT 3 [to C1]

Thank you. [Facing ahead with confidence] Cat C A T. Cat.

VOICE

I know you are trying to help, contestant 1, but you should only give a letter or two and not the whole word.

CONTESTANT 1

You've got to be kidding!

VOICE

You will understand once the contest is over. One of our other contestants was equally challenged but also understood what was going on. One of his words was staphylococci. I know this sounds cliché but, if you are here, you are already a winner.

CONTESTANT 1

Okay. I guess if you're sure about that. I guess I'll have to trust you.

VOICE

Great. By the way, you are correct, contestant 3. [C3 sits] Okay, Contestant 1...

[C1 stands]

VOICE

Spell psychiatry.

[C1 smiles, puts hand over face and shakes his head.]

[Fade out]

[Sermon note: By the way, he got it right.]

THE END

This script may be used without royalty payment, provided no charge is made for entrance. In return, the author would like to be notified if this drama is used and for what purpose. You may contact me at john@jjandb.net.